Know-it-alls? Hardly. (A contribution by my friend, Jasjeet Kaur)

Mothers Day just passed. Mothers are celebrated with enthusiasm. We acknowledge how much our moms did for us.

As kids we look up to our parents as the source of guidance for all matters. They always have all the answers. Even as adults, mom is the first person we think of when we need urgent personal advice. She always says the right thing.

But you know what, as a┬ámom, I now know some things I didn’t know earlier. Your child thinks you already know the answers. But what he doesn’t know is that you didn’t know the answer till the moment he asked the question. A parent learns on the job every second of the day. This is first time for the parents as well. They have never faced the situations that children create everyday. They take new decisions every day...

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Lessons from my children

Here’s a collection of nuggets from my children (some sentences have been restructured to summarize the actual conversation):

  1. Respect us. Listen to us so we feel important. We can’t always be wrong.
  2. Please try not to raise your voice when you are trying to tell us we did something wrong. We can’t really hear what you are saying then.
  3. Please don’t tell us not to use “bad” words if you use them in front of us. That makes no sense.
  4. When you tell us about all the poor kids in the world who don’t get to eat all the yummy food we get to eat but don’t, we lose our appetite, so please use another motivational strategy.
  5. We’ve been around long enough to know when you’re being sarcastic so if you just tell us straight, it will be so much cleaner.
  6. We need you very much so please be available for us...
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Mother’s Day

And so another Mother’s Day comes and goes. My daughters made lovely posters listing reasons why they love me and it wasn’t any surprise that they mentioned the reasons they did. But it feels wonderful to be acknowledged by the most sincere of all people, children. All day, the girls were coming up to me and offering lemonade or chai latte or a shoulder massage or a hug or a kiss just to reiterate their feelings on this special day.

And while I have no problems with today being the special day the world picks out to dedicate to mothers, I like to think my mother deserves much more recognition that just this one day...

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The seeds of anger

Parents are human. We are susceptible to anger emotions stemming out of frustrations, struggles, arguments and disagreements or from just having a bad day. Sometimes we are upset with out young children for bad behavior or disobedience which is in order if delivered appropriately. And sometimes, we just have a bad attitude because we carry the weight of unfinished business on our shoulders.

But then there’s a lot of parents who shush every idea or opinion their child has. They allow their negativities to spill on innocent minds. I have seen it all too often and can visualize a heart break happening when a child is treated as an insignificant creature with no feelings.

I believe that there should be method in our madness as parents...

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The power of submission

Growing up, I was under the impression that submission is a weakness where you assume the position of a lesser being. Today, I realize that in submission lies a great power. Submission isn’t being a doormat, but in a way, demonstrating an absence of rebelliousness.

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Fragile minds

2 things to never do to your children:
– Never tell them they are worthless even in your most angry state
– Never tell them they are the cause of your worries

What I have learned is to reprimand the act or issue, not the person. It’s hard sometimes because letting go of your inner frustration by using dramatic exclamations can be satisfying, but your satisfaction can bruise a child’s fragile mind in ways you cannot imagine.

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