Archive for June, 2013

PostHeaderIcon Reaching inside the mind of a 7 year old

Change of any kind requires a shift in the mental comfort zones we all create for ourselves. There’s a fear of the unknown, speculations and apprehensions, as our familiar routines become displaced.

And so for even a little child who exists within a psychosocial framework, emotions present themselves in different ways. Some children verbalize their thoughts while some are more passive in their expression. However, as a parent, I realize that my children have the same human emotions I do, and while their manifestations may be different, they must be given their due respect.

Our upcoming move has been an example of such a change where my 7 year old daughter’s affectation was beginning to look like her reality. She seemed like she was alright with it all and as long as she was with her family, nothing else mattered, until yesterday, when all of a sudden, I saw her fighting with her inner sadness, but it could be contained no more. At that point, I knew I had to create a dialog where she would get in touch with her true feelings and pour out her thoughts freely. It is at times like this when I wish I could buy pills of patience and swallow them so I could work with the situation at hand instead of hoping that it would just fix itself. It isn’t easy to see your child suffer even when you know that life can never be a steady path of predictable events, and that every person must be subjected to their share of change.

So we talked like we always do. Her feelings were exactly the same as mine the only difference  being that as a grown up, I know that change is inevitable, and we can control certain factors that could make us uncomfortable. I can also see positive in the change because my exposure is greater and battle with the transition anxiety by focusing on the benefits of the change we are about to experience. It is imperative to validate the feelings in a child because that relaxes their mind and they know that it is not wrong to feel uncomfortable. Then, we address the fears by breaking them down into tinier problems and offer solutions to deal with those problems. At the end, it is all about offering reassurance to a tender mind that can cook up a storm inside. And once a dialog is in the process, the red lights soon fade into lighter colors as we help the child to think beyond their doubts and fears.

PostHeaderIcon 10 Truths Every Mom Should Know