My 9 year old daughter likes being in charge. While that’s not necessarily a negative trait, there’s a right time and place for everything. In kindergarden, her teacher told me that I have a very bright young lady who possesses remarkable leadership qualities, but that we need to work on her trying to be the teacher.
That was my first time being a mother of a kindergardener. I was a little confused but challenged. I see every situation as a learning possibility so I picked up some books and called some friends who have older kids. So I sat my little girl down and told her that I wanted to chat with her. She was all ears. I started out by telling her how mama loved school and loved teaching and how I was one of the best students in my class when I was a kid like her...
…These are the desires of starship, mom.
And so you love being a mother. I do. It isn’t exactly a thankless job as you get rewarded each day by a special hug and wide-eyed indication of how awesome you are. Its very important not to shift your focus from the pleasant happenings for the mundane responsibilities can sometimes be very trying. For example, have you noticed how your little chid always needs you to wash them in the loo right when you sit down with your feet up with that so perfectly brewed cup of coffee? Or just when you are visited by a great thought and want to write it down in your blog, all of a sudden everyone needs you for this, that and one more thing.
Space. I need my space...
This has been a goal of mine for a while.
There is immense power in the spoken words I believe. I read somewhere that your ears hear what you say and the messages get transmitted to your mind which formulates action plans accordingly. So, in essence garbage in = garbage out. It’s pretty simple. And I think it makes perfect sense. Have you noticed how you can wake up one morning and say to yourself, “oh today is going to be a lousy day” and have you watched how the day actually turns out lousy? But if you wake up and start the day with a good attitude, chances are you can find positive energy to pick yourself up when you stumble.
So I am trying to instill the same fundamental thought process in my children...
and someone to love you back.
That is what this mother-child relationship is all about. When I was pregnant with my first child, I’d wonder what kind of love I would have with my child. Would it be unconditional, would it be intense, stable….oh those wondrous nights of anticipation mixed with the discomforts of a growing belly and endless blood tests for having being diagnosed with gestational diabetes.
When I was a kid and way into my teen years, my medical records indicated that I needed special attention during blood tests as I always passed out. A few times, I even fell on the ground and hurt myself. And here I was, a few years laters, pricking my finger at least 4 times a day to monitor my sugar levels...
There are days when I want to say no to everything my daughter wants. She will have a series of demands ranging from needing a new notebook to buying a present for her friend “just because.” I’ve learned to swallow my irritation during those times and engage in conversation instead. She’s a child. She needs attention. She needs direction. Two of the strongest virtues of a parent are selflessness and patience. Selflessness and patience. Patience and selflessness, and keeping your eye on the goal.
Yesterday was one of those days when she asks me why I can’t sleep with her in her bed. This has been a struggle for the both of us. One part of me wants to let go and the other part knows she’s old enough to lower this security net she has established for herself...