I was upset with my 10 year old this afternoon for excessive whining over a very trivial issue. It was also real bad timing because I had to leave for school and gather a bunch of things. In a moment of fury, I said a few harsh words which I knew were indeed harsh because as I drove, both my daughters were unusually quiet sitting at the back.
A little later, I called my little 6 year old who had witnessed the fireworks earlier and asked what she thought about my words and if I was right to have taken that route. She thought for a moment and said, “mama, I think you could have been more polite. She was just tired and needed to cry. You should have let her for a minute and hugged her. Yelling at us makes us feel smaller than we are.”
I think I need to apologize, not for what I said but how I said it. I cannot use my position in our household hierarchy as an weapon. I have my place as a mother but must know effective methods of communicating with my children. Yes, every now and then I slip. But I’m not too old to apologize. I hope I can learn from my children as much as I hope they learn from me.